Monday 3 December 2012

Police Warn Recluse May Be At Puntlins


Frogmorton Police have warned bands attending next month's Puntlins Holiday Camps Contest that they have intelligence that suggests the notorious banding kiddy fiddler the Rotherham Recluse may be at the contest.

PC Trevor Hornbeam told the Bandstand, "We understand it is quite likely that the well-known childer tomfiddler and aggravated assault merchant may well be in attendance. We urge all bands to remain vigilant during the weekend of the contests and to report any suspected tomfiddlery".

"However, to be honest, in Frogmorton we aren't really set up to deal with this kind of thing. We only have two part-time Community Support Officers, one pair of handcuffs and a bicycle with a wonky front wheel. However, we will do all we can to ensure a Police presence on site".