Local entrepeneur and promoter Jackson Rigby has announced that Birds In Ballgowns will perform a concert at Upperthong Civic Hall on Saturday 18th May, 2013 at a starting time yet to be confirmed but probably about 7.30pm.
Rigby told the Bandstand, "I know little of them and have not seen them perform live but there are a few grainy videos on YouTube and they look the business. Not only are they fit but they are women who can obviously play brass instruments!"
"Not only that but they wear ball gowns where you can see their shoulders and a fair bit of their tits. I'm just hoping none of them goes menstrual on the date we've agreed, I have asked them all to check their blob calendars to ensure we don't have any fanny-related fuck ups".
Birds In Ballgowns are well-known for providing light-hearted titillation at upper class orchestral events, but have yet to perform within the working class bear pit of your average brass band audience.
Rigby said, "They want a grand off me for the gig. However, the hall seats 100 so at £20 a ticket I should clear another grand at my end if we fill it. It does however rely on me selling 100 tickets at £20 but look at them. I would, wouldn't you?"
Tickets (priced £20 no concessions) are available from "JacksonRigby.com" or from Betty's Independent Stationers, Fall Lane, Upperthong.
