The Turton (Sharon Is Back On Eastenders) Band's recent Annual Slow Melody Contest has been described as "a fucking shambles".
Secretary Janet Sweephole gave the honest assessment after a disastrous day at the Joe Longthorne Leisure Centre. Janet told the bandstand, "It was a fucking shambles. We spent £120 booking the Guinevere Suite and another £100 on adjudicator Byron Sharples MBE. Then only one lad turned up, and he was shit. There were only two people listening and one of those was the adjudicator, who had to be there. I think the other one was that shit lad's mum".
Asked if next year's event would be doubtful, Janet said, "Not at all. Byron is booked again and that shit lad who waltzed off with all the trophies and £200 in his back pocket said he was up for it".
