Maureen Splitarse has spoken to the Ainley Top Bandstand about her controversial appointment as the first bird to be accepted by the Barnstorm & Rangsfeld Band.
Maureen said, "I am a splitarse and proud of it. I have a fanny and a pair of tits, through which it would be possible to give birth to a child and then feed it!"
"We women can sort it all out for ourselves, except for the spunk up the fanny bit at the start what needs a bloke to get you pregnant, but aside from that, we can do it sisters!"
We then suggested another scenario to Maureen whereby she would gobble us off and let us spit our creamy bonanza into her mouth before she spat it down onto her gaping "thronghold" and suck it all up inside her using her pelvic floor muscles and stuff, so giving birth to a child, eventually.
Maureen said, "That might work!"
