Topslow Bumchum, the eccentric tenor horn prodigy, has gained a place on this year's Annual Dorset Jamboree Band Course. The 13 year old sensation was hand picked by course director Major Colonel Claude Spamfritters.
Bumchum's mum, Sheila, said,"To send our son off to band camp with someone of the quality of Spamfritters is ideal. It should help so much in his development. He will get better or he will be abused when he gets back home".
Spamfritters said, "I have pulled this course together myself, almost single-handedly. However, it is all about the children who will benefit from my expertise. Thankfully, since that do with the 13 year old girl in her swimming costume that was thrown out of court, parents should have no worry sending their kids into my clutches".
A small number of places are still available, priced £299 for the weekend. Contact Marjorie Groomer at no-he-will-really-touch-your-children@paedo.net
