The Watslow Silver Band have announced the appointment of Gordon Corfew as Principal Guest Percussionist.
Band secretary Alison Tucksmeade said, "It appears this arrangement means that Gordon can do what he always has done. Just turn up and bail us out at big contests and charge a fee of around £250".
Band chairman Lucianne Luxmeade said, "What Alison should have said, but being a typical woman, didn't, should of been that Gordon has bailed us out at contests at £250 a pop and all of what is on the committee accept that. However, giving him this new title should mean he feels more a part of the band and will hopefully reduce his fee".
Corfew said, "Fuck it, this is brass banding and I'm a percussionist, it'll be £250 a pop whatever they want to call me".