Laughton Lampstand has been appointed the new Musical Director of the Neot St. Maggots (The Lady Loves Milk Tray) Band.
Band spokesperson Mary Nameless said, "Laughton has been on our radar for some time, ever since he took Pegborough (Nine Bob Note) Band to victory at the Shep Off Of Blue Peter Memorial Contest at the Snibston Aerodrome. We fucking hate Pegborough, so to finally secure his services is a right one in the eye for them fuckers. Not only that but he's bringing some of their players with him! Fuck you, Pegborough!"
Lampstand told the Bandstand, "I know this move will be controversial, but I wish my old band, Pegborough, all the best for the future. Even though I'm taking half their players with me!"
Lampstand will be straight in to action, hurriedly preparing the band for a meaningless contest this weekend that they have no chance of winning.
