However, aside from contests across five sections and a prize fund totalling £48.50, Puntlins Director of Trying To Fill Our Holiday Camps Out of Season, Jeremy Noonday-Gunn, said, "We are fast establishing ourselves as another brass band contest on the calendar and, although we understand little of the strange world of brass bands, it does give us a chance to fill the camp for a weekend at a time when otherwise it would be lying empty".
An excited Jeremy confirmed exclusively to the Bandstand that the Puntlins festival weekend will include:-
- Several men having sex with people other than their current wives or girlfriends.
- Several women having sex with each other.
- Expensive alcohol.
- Numerous young girls taking photos of each other pissed up and sticking their tongues out and/or grasping their breasts in a comical fashion, that they will subsequently post on popular social networking sites.
- Several Wankers Section Bands rolling up in sweatshirts with their nicknames printed on the back.
- A Saturday night free show including some, or all, or possibly none of The Chuckle Brothers, Joe Longthorne, Cannon & Ball, that bloke with the green duck, Les Dennis, Keith Chegwin (all subject to availability).
- A misguided young man posting inappropriate twits on tweeter and the Old Bill getting involved.
- A possible rape trial.
