Due to popular demand we have re-secured the services of Charlie Gutbucket, our Drunk Man At A Contest. To be honest, whilst we're waxing lyrical about the upper end of brass banding, we need someone to trawl the sewer. Only two people looked at this blog last month, so we obviously need to raise our game in the Wankers Section.
So what better way to start than today's 5th Section National Final at the Captain Mainwaring Multiplex Theatre, Trowbridge. Charlie Reports:-
I rolled up somewhere in the back of beyond. The word in the foyer was that the Torbay Tutenkhamen Band would win it outright but there was some sly betting on The Glamston Castle Cafeteria Band to provide a possible comeuppance.
I wasn't let into the hall, apparently I smelled of shit and was carrying a half-drunk bottle of cheap sherry. Determined, I managed to hear all the bands from the fire escape.
After the results I set off in determined fashion off of the fire escape to find out what the results were. I found several members of the Macy Grey Colliery Band celebrating in the bar. They had won it against all odds.
I tried to interview their young euphonium player Emma Stanhope, but she saw piss running through my sandals all over the floor. Yes, I pissed myself in front of her, but I'd been busting for a while.
