Monday 25 June 2012

Your Letters: June

Read it "upside down". Like most forums, the earliest letter is at the bottom, so start there and work your way up. (Can't believe we have to keep explaining that, you fucking idiots).

Guys, you do a great job but, just for the record, Maisie Foghorn was not the first female to play with the Grimsdyke (Go Compare) Band. Yes, she was the first to register, but in fact two years earlier the splitarse Sandra Mycock had guested with the band on the promenade in Barnsley. I should know because I fucked 'em both. Maisie had the bigger tits but I have to say that Sandra had a more fragrant vagina.
Laurence Leech
Grimsdyke

Great work with your website chaps, you provide a sterling service. However, might I suggest a little more care over your editorials? The Instow (Bleed the Radiators) Band did not fold in 1974. It did in fact fold in 1973. Yes, we did have a reunion concert in 1974 but we had already folded, in 1973.
Quantum Fizzicks
Instow

Minton Carambeu seems to have opened a can of worms with his letter degrading the fact that Caister played "Black & White Minstrels" with no blacks on stage. I remember a concert with the Toothill Octogenarians Band at the Rainforest Alliance Bandstand, Grooby, when we played Bantock's "Frogs of Aristophenes" and there wasn't a Frenchman in sight! Touche, mon chere!
Stanley Dwyer
Grooby

Lobby Tuttlington should look a little closer to home! Herman Shamsby was NOT the conductor of the Hornsby (Pickled Onion Monster Munch) Band at the 1877 Flimsby Open. It was, in fact, Quenton Quagmire who successfully directed them to their defence of the title. Do I win this month's prize as best user of Google, or what?
Michael Lay-Preacher
Aspidistra-on-Sea

Just a comment on the recent concert in Formby Cathedral by the Caister (Wadman Winnebagos) Band. My wife and I couldn't help but notice that throughout the performance of "Black & White Minstrels" they didn't have a single black person on stage. Surely this has gone too far?
Minton & Mavis Carembeu
Formby

Mr. O'Riley would surely know that openess (I quote his letter) should actually be spelled as openness. I will defend brass banding's paedophiles as much as the next man, but not with incorrect spelling!
Laars Oouisterhuisen
Gdansk

John Roebuck has a strange view of brass banding if he suggests that all contests should resort to open adjudication and pre-draws. We could have done with more openess when Hector Grainger got done off of the courts for fiddling with that 14 year old girl during cornet lessons. That was brushed right under the carpet. Maybe Mr. Roebuck should remember the privacy of banding's paedophiles when suggesting so much openess?
Tommy O'Riley
Padstowe

I am trying to trace a brass band LP that my father used to play on Sunday afternoons whilst I was growing up. All I know is that it had a picture of the band on the front, possibly with some trophies in front of them. I can't even remember the colour of the uniforms. I remember it so well that I've forgotten what tracks were on there. However, if the knowledgeable readers of the Bandstand can help it would be, just, like, awesome.
Peter Shrew
Lower Legg