The Windermere Colliery Band have finally announced the announcement that was due to follow several other, low-key announcements.
Excited player Terry Jamelia, pissed up in a bar, rang us and said, "This is the big one. This is what it's all been building up to. Truth is, we're miming at the Olympics. And we've signed a bird. All this stuff should rock brass banding to the core and put us back on the worldwide map. Is it right I get £200 in cash for telling you this?"
Yet the signs are that brass banding has not been rocked to the core. Tom and Mavis Brabinger of the Red Egg public house in Plebley said, "What a let down. We thought with all the build up it would be an announcement to end all announcements. To be honest, none of the regulars are interested in the Olympics. And, although most of them are sexist, the fact that Windermere have signed a splitarse is entirely inconsequential to them".
Windermere then issued a press release which stated, "We are sorry, Terry Jamelia should not have let the cat out of the bag. There will now be a further announcement trying to diffuse this latest announcement".
