Brian Expensive has informed the Bandstand that he is still dining out on victory at the Flingthorpe Open with the Tuppery & Sneedsdale Band, but there is a sour note.
Expensive said, "My last invoice submitted to the Tuppery & Sneedsdale Band has not been honoured. The £300 they owe me for that rehearsal the night before the Flingthorpe Open has not been forthcoming. The band told me they were skint and that they were holding a whist drive and door to door collections to try and raise it".
"It's a joke. They've all been dining out on that result for the last few weeks and now, suddenly, they can't honour my contract. I was owed £2,800 for the Open and, although £2,500 has been settled, there is still the £300 owing".
"Anyway, I'm going where the money is, Scandinavia. Those guys took one look at the Flingthorpe Open result and were straight on the phone. This is serious money. I might never work in the UK again, though I might fly some of my favourite players over to Scandinavia to help me out!"
"No, seriously, I've bought this little sports car, it's a four-seater so it has ample room for me to take myself and three prostitutes down a fjord to a sleezy motel to do stuff to each other."
"Don't get me wrong, I was brought up on brass banding by my mother and father, whom I loved, and brass banding. However, to put it bluntly, if brass banding in the UK can't afford it, then those of us who seek to earn serious money out of brass banding will go overseas!"
