Tuesday, 27 March 2012

Scalby Departs Laisterdike

Renton Scalby has informed the Ainley Top Bandstand that he has parted company with Laisterdike Temperance Band after almost ten years at the helm. Scalby, speaking from the tap room of his local pub, said, "The bastards have sacked me. Honest, Derek, I've been shafted. Get this up before they get in touch with some shit about me stepping down due to work commitments. Ten years I gave 'em, ten f****** years".

Just before going to press Paul Wickham-Wanderer, President of the band, informed us, "Laisterdike Temperance are sad to announce that they have parted company with MD Renton Scalby. Renton has found it difficult to balance increasing work commitments with preparation with this forward-looking organisation. Regretfully we have accepted his resignation and wish him all the best for the future".

Laisterdike Temperance are inviting applications for the vacant MD post and the new man (or woman, I suppose, these days) at the helm will prepare them for their forthcoming assault on the Tockhampton (Winnets Agricultural Feed Merchants) Entertainment Contest in May. Contact Paul Wickham-Wanderer in confidence on 09776 384939.