Thursday, 24 May 2012

Nonsense charity hair fire planned

Gary Nonsense, the mad and crazy conductor of the Emley Potatoe Works Band, is to set fire to his hair to raise money for charity.

Nonsense told the Ainley Top Bandstand, "Emley Potatoe Works Band has a reputation for being a bit nutty. We once spent a weekend at one of those God-awful contests held in a holiday camp and we all went round for the weekend in matching hoodies with our nicknames printed on the back in big letters".

In keeping with the bonkers outlook of the band, players challenged Gary to set fire to his hair on the bowling green outside Emley Cathedral next Saturday to raise funds for the Captain Kirk Star Trek Hospice.

Gary said, "I'm up for it. It's all for the Captain Kirk Star Trek Hospice. As Scotty would of said, 'Beam me up'. Well I'm going to set fire to my hair!"

The band hope to better the £13.72 raised for the Hospice last year when bass player Clyde Dibbins chopped his bollocks off on the roundabout in the school playground.