Saturday, 15 December 2012

Radio: Major General Fred Stanton

Major General Fred Stanton, the perfectly self-promoting brass band media puppet, has announced the launch of a brand new radio show for brass band enthusiasts, whatever they are.

Stanton told the Bandstand, "Move over amateurs! The premier brass band radio show is starting now, but not on provincial radio, this will be on Greater London FM, so it may even influence people from other art forms, including orchestras, of which I am also very experienced and ready for work, should they choose to listen, which I suppose with my name attached they probably will".

"Unlike the amateurish shit we have been forced to listen to so far, this show will be professionally produced, advertised across several musical spheres of influence and, most importantly, bear the logo of Greater London FM. Even more importantly it will be presented by me. My autobiography 'Let's Talk About Me' is still widely available in all good bookshops."

With such a trumpeted opening, Stanton had to nail an absolute barnstormer of a programme and he has certainly not disappointed. The new show entitled 'Major Fred Stanton: Let's Talk About Me But Also Listen To A Bit Of Brass Band Music' at 9.30pm this immediately coming Friday on Greater London FM 82-192Mhz will consist of:-

March: Bomb the Fucking French [Tonbridge Tyre Works Band]
Overture: The Syphallitic Nymph [CWS Oodle Town End Band]
Enterlude La Salubrious Coque [Band of the Spanish Inquisition]
Solo: Part Thineself and I Shall Enter Thee [The Stanley Kubrick Band: Soloist Gaynor Feckles]
Og Nog Fermata [Fullsdjiken Fjord Band]
Tantamount Pleasure [Cordley Plain Sailing Band]
Solo: Japanese Fellacio [Soloist: Lyndsey Drifter]
Gaynor's March to the Engorged Breast [Windermere Colliery Band]