Murdo McGool, the father of brass banding in the Orkney Islands, has died after a short fight with a stepladder.
His bereaved widow Lady Morag McGool said, "He climbed the step ladder, I told him not to do it, then he fell off and died. The irony is we have little men down in the village, mostly Irish or transient workers from Eastern Europe, who would of come and done it for him. But he wouldn't be told and now he is dead and I get everything, in a sad way."
McGool set up the first ever Orkney Invitational Contest on the islands and was the first to insist on proper registration. He is credited with being the first to introduce that rule that brass players, who love to warm up, simply won't be allowed to warm up. He famously said, "Make sure backstage they don't blow a fucking note. Not even put a bit of warm air through their instruments. My father abused me as a child and now I will take it out on the brass band movement. If one of them so much as puts his lips near the mouthpiece you will shout "shh! no warming up. This is the only celebration of our art form and you will not even be allowed to do that properly."
Malcolm, did you ever see Murdo McGool? It looks like you've Googled a picture of Sigmund Freud. We're gonna be fucked if his family find out.
