The We Don't Manufacture Anything In This Country Any More Works Band has finally called it a day.
President Laithe Turner-Steeplejack said, "At one time this factory would be alive to the sound of people making cars, fighter planes, heavy bombers, steam engines and do-it-yourself abortion kits for young ladies who had been knocked up by someone below their social standing. Now, the factory is finally silent. It is a sad day".
The news will come as a body blow to any supporters of the band who are still alive, many of whom will remember their famous triple hat-trick of doubles at the Brindley Big Shield Contest in the 1940's, 50's and 60's.
Yet there is hope that the famous old bandroom will survive. Local property developer Clyde Dainty said, "It is a well known fact that there isn't enough housing for young professional couples who work in a call centre all day. These stinking old factories where people used to do a proper job are a blot on the landscape. However, we hope to turn the site into 2,873 apartments for call centre workers. It is likely we will retain the famous old bandroom, at least initially, until we get planning permission".
