Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Feckin' Feck It For Feckles

Soprano star Buster Feckles has been knocked out of this year's Radio Luxembourg Brass Musician of the Year Competiton after a tensely fought semi-final battle at the Murray Mints Studios, Austerbridge.

Feckles was beaten to a final place by 8-year-old washboard player Jonas Nefertiti, who wowed crowd and judges alike with his performance of Splice the Mainbrace.

Feckles said, "To come so far is a bonus. But, to be honest, to lose to such a bigheaded shit like Jonas is a real kick in the balls. He swaggers around like he is someone, yet he's an 8-year-old lad who can knock out a half decent tune on the washboard. I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire".

Feckles, who had been drinking heavily during and after his performance of Naisby's Oops Upside Yer Head, was visibly upset as adjudicator Benson Rapture MBE described his performance as "...one of limited enjoyment, a bit like a tragic house fire leading to a gas explosion" and "...one to remember for all the wrong reasons, shite".

There was a minor scuffle and adjudicator remarks were thrown across the room before Feckles was forcibly ejected from the building.