Monday, 2 April 2012

Horsewomb Contest: Retrospective

Sorry folks, no live comments, we got a bit pissed and Denzel Shakeshaft got stuck in the hall when the raffle over-ran. However, Denzel has now prepared a top section retrospective:-

Not many bands in the top section and all pretty much dribblers to some extent. Here are my thoughts on the top three:-

(3) Wankfield Metropolis - Devil and the Deep Blue Sea
Holy Mother of God, shock and awe banding at its most destructive. The MD struggles to control it as it thunders along like a traction engine with faulty brakes. The Devil has possessed it and you wish there was an excorsist in the audience. Most, however, simply look as shocked as those performing. The slow movement has all the lyrical sweetness of an angle grinder before more sledgehammer, in your face, musical unworthiness. That this was allowed to happen is bewildering.

(2) Skelmandale - Can't Remember
This outfit will have eyed the pot of gold today but the wheels have come off. Not so much leaving a door or a window open, this one took out the gable end and left the structure supported by pieces of wood. Some truly turgid dribbling coupled with a lack of sense leaves a huge hole through which another dribbler might tip up and steal the gong. Partially shameful, ultimately forgettable brass banding.

(1) Hard Edge - Chivalry
The piece is Chivalry, or at least an approximation of it. However, there is no code of conduct amongst this dangerously effervescent rabble. The MD fights valiantly enough but 25-odd players have stuck their jousting pole firmly into his shield and knocked him off his horse. It didn't really come near what the composer had intended but for me did just enough. Didn't so much win the day as dribble across the finish line like a premature ejaculation of musical effluent.

Overall the right result for us but the organisers must have wondered whether anyone had actually earned the prize and the cash today. The catering and raffle were also spot on and the beautiful weather made the street march just a little more bearable than it usually is.